We've been really trying to help him stop pulling his hair out. It was getting worse and worse, so Mike buzzed his hair off so he'd stop playing with his hair. Poor kid! I felt so bad for him! He did not like it AT ALL and I don't blame him. He didn't want to go to school to face his friends, and again, I don't blame him one bit. Now I know, after the fact, that we shouldn't have done that. I don't think it helped anything except make him more anxious and have to deal with more challenges. But it was done so we've tried to help him make the most of it. For one thing, he has experienced multiple teasings from his classmates. We've tried to help him learn how hurtful it is when people make fun of others and to never make fun of anyone else. We have talked about cancer patients who loose their hair when they go through treatment. He can be more empathetic to cancer patients. He also experienced something really positive. The first day back to school after his haircut, all the kids were exclaiming, "You're bald! You're bald!" and one of the older boys spoke up and said, "Ya, he's bald. But he's still the man." When Kyle told me about that, his face lit up and he smiled from ear to ear. Now how cool is that! I want to find that boy and thank him and his mother. He probably doesn't even know what a positive influence he had on Kyle. So anyway, we've talked a lot about that positive comment and how cool that boy was for saying it. I hope Kyle has learned that it is NOT COOL to make fun of others and it IS TOTALLY COOL to make others feel good about themselves. Kyle is such a sweet boy. I think he has learned a lot from this experience. He has handled it with courage and confidence.
Mike and I have vowed to never shave his head again (against his will). I have also vowed to myself that even if he continues to play with his hair and pull it out, I will ignore it. As soon as we started to talk to Kyle about his habit and to remind him every time he was doing it, he started doing it more and more. The bald spot grew faster than ever. So I think our nagging him just made things a whole lot worse. So my plan is to give him something to keep his hands busy (like a rabbits foot or squishy ball), keep his hair pretty short (but not bald), and to ignore his twisting. I want him to know that we love him no matter what and a little bald spot does not change our feelings towards him at all.
No matter what, he is one handsome dude!p.s. I can't believe I swore in my last blog. That is so improper!
14 comments:
Poor kid! I have anxiety too. It's not easy sometimes. I've found that a shoulder rub works wonders though!
Audra,
Yes, he still IS THE MAN! :) He is still so cute. Gee, kids can be so cruel! Why??? I hate it! But at leas he is learning! We love him.
And we love you
Shana
I think he is a handsome Dude and bald is so in these days!
I love the story of the kid standing up for him. If only we could all be that generous regaring other people's feelings! Kyle is still a total stud muffin and is lucky to have parents to teach him what is important.
Parenting is such a learn as you go thing. You find what works and what doesn't work. It sounds like this has been a good teaching experience for all you. That is a great thing! He is a cutie with or without hair! You guys are GREAT parents!
It's hard raising parents. Take it from me, you and Mike are fine parents. And now, I'll be able to tell Kyle and Jordan apart easier!
I love the little boy who said that Kyle is the man! He totally is!! And I told Chad about Kyle pulling his hair out, and he said that no matter how much you pull your hair out, it will always grow back--so no worries about permanent bald spots or anything! We love Kyle so much!
He is still a great looking kid. Doesn't it seem like you always learn as a parent AFTER you've already done something? It's a good thing our kids forgive us!
You make me smile! that is so awesome how that one kid stood up for him! what a great FHE! Kyle really is handsome even with a buzz!
i am sure you are doing great with your 4 kids. it is ok to be overwhelmed (and sore), and it is ok to just be a social recluse for a while. i only have 3 and for that first 2 months after my baby, i didnt want to talk to anyone or do anything - and i DIDNT! take your time. you are great.
I am an old high school friend of Natalie's and stumbled across your blog and I had to comment on Kyle pulling out his hair. This is something I do! I started doing it after I graduated college and nothing panned out like I planned. I have tried everything to stop. And when someone reminds you to stop, it just reminds you that you are doing something you don't want to do at all anyway. So you get more stressed. I luckily pull my hair out from underneath. But it is a huge struggle. I have often wished I could just shave it off and start new. I am a grown woman and would look weird. So my vanity creeps in. I wish I had more words of wisdom. Good luck with Kyle. He looks like a total stud. What a cute family you have. Love your blog
Tell Kyle that That is the "Cool, In Thing now." Wyatt who is 11 and in sixth grade begs to have his hair shaved! What a sharp looking guy!!
I love Kyle, whatever his hair looks like! If he learns how important it is to speak positively about others, it is a wonderful thing. Thanks to the young man that said Kyle was still The Man. He and Kyle are great people.
Oh, you guys are great parents. I love Kyle, what a good kid. Good luck!
I would have shaved the hair, too. Some habits are just so hard to break. Poor thing.
I do have to say though, he looks super cool! I like it short. He is the man!
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