Monday, July 27, 2009

my internal struggle

My blog freaks me out sometimes. I'm putting myself out there for all to see and judge. And I'm faced with some deep, thought provoking questions like,
"Who reads this?"
"What do they think?"
"How am I coming across?" and
"Why the heck did I just post that?"
Mike also wonders that and I say, "I don't know. I panicked."
.



Then I think about quitting.
But my mom and dad like to see their grandbabies.
Maybe I should go private and just invite my family.
Audra, don't be a baby.
.

Then I think about going private and inviting anybody who emails me.
But I do google reader and I forget to look at a lot of private blogs I love because google reader doesn't tell me about those.
And I want as many people as possible to see my posts so I can get all sorts of wonderful comments and feel like I'm a wonderful and likable person.
But that brings me to the beginning.
Who reads this?
What do they think?
How am I coming across?
What if I reveal, or already have revealed, my super secret last name?
.

It's a vicious cycle.
See my struggle?
And it always ends in the same way.


Keep blogging.
Try not to panic.

20 comments:

Shana said...

I LOVE having my blog private!! Even if I don't get a lot of comments, it makes me feel safer that I am not putting out my kids pictures for the whole world to see. Ya know? Plus, I like the thought of knowing who is invited to see into my private life. After all, my blog is my journal. :) Just don't quit!! I LOVE reading your blog. It is the best!!!!

likeschocolate said...

Who cares what others think. You write what you want. I think blogging is a fun way for us all to get to know each other a little more and a great way to scrapbook. I did add on mine a site reader, and though it does not tell me exactly who is on it does tell me location and how long and then it gives me an idea who has been looking. Keep blogging!

Tara said...

I love reading your blog!

Jessi said...

I read.
I already know your last name.
I think you're totally awesome.
I love your blog.

Jonesy Rae Photography said...

I know how you feel. At first it was a little empowering, then a little overwhelming and intimidating. Depends on my mood I suppose. :) But I will say, I also forget to check those on private since it doesn't alert me... so don't do it! Besides, for me... part of it is just learning to put myself out there.. and not care for once.

Emma said...

I hear ya! I do it mostly for family and a record of our little family. But comments are nice too. And I really enjoy reading your blog - so keep it up please. If you go private I'll still read it, but just not as often. I too forget to check my private blogs.

Natalie said...

go private - it's the new black in blogging. :D
what ever you decide, i'm a dedicated reader. blog on, my friend, blog on.

Loridee said...

I love reading your blog!! I don't always update mine but I love keeping up on everybody's blogs that I don't see everyday!! Keep blogging!!!

Michelle Pyne said...

You write your blog for ME. I think you're wonderful and your blogs are delightful.

You also write your blog for YOU. It's nice to espress yourself once in awhile. Get a little crazy and creative.

You write your blog for K, J, T & J. They are the stars of your blog.

You write your blog for the FAM. Not many of them are going to make it to Georgia, you know.

As far as what others think about your blog? Well, it's entirely up to them and it's out of your hands. No worries, mate!

Anonymous said...

Hi! I came across your blog a while ago and I love to read it! You have beautiful photograhpy skills and a beautiful family! Looking forward to more great posts! :)

--Nicole

Annie said...

I'm reading - one of those not so good at commenting people. I have the same thoughts, but I just hate to cut off those people that aren't brave enough to comment, but that I might be having an impact on in some small way. Thanks for your example - I enjoy reading about the little everyday adventures and the ups and downs of life.

~Ali said...

My main purpose of doing my blog is for me, myself, and I... and my family. :) I don't blog for anyone else. It is how I scrapbook for my kids. I don't expect anyone to even read it. Quite frankly, I think it would be quite boring for other people. But for those that know me, and those I care about, I love that they can see my family and keep in touch.

I think going private is the way to go. Either way, I think you should definitley keep blogging. I love seeing your cute family, and I always love to hear what you have to say.

Angela said...

Watever you do, don't stop blogging! I may not comment much, but I am a faithful reader of your blog! And I never think, why did she just post that? In fact, usually I'm just admiring your creativity and wit and perspective!

Angela said...

Oh yeah, I also admire your honesty!

Chris said...

I love keeping up on my nieces and nephews lives but it's hard when you live so far away. So through your blogs we get to see at least a little bit of whats going on and how the kids are growing.

Misty said...

I am curious about what likes chocolate said about the site reader. Find out, tell me more. I think you are FABULOUS.

Dale said...

I dub thee Queen Supreme Best Blogger in the World of All Time Extraordinaire!

Anonymous said...

I love reading your blog too. You're very creative.

Leslie said...

don't go private, audra! i always forget to read private blogs, too. your blog is so awesome, especially lately. every post has me smiling. :)

The Queen said...

lol. i hear ya.