Tuesday, September 16, 2008
sex talk
When do you have the sex talk with your kids? At what age is appropriate? It's sad that the age is getting younger and younger. But how can you put it off when they start asking questions? I'd much rather have my boys learn about sex from Mike and I than from the kids at their school - who knows what the kids are saying. Seven year old boys sure don't seem mature enough to know so much about how babies are made, but again, I want them to hear it from their parents and not from the comments at school. Again, it's so sad that the need for the sex talk with your child is getting younger and younger.
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8 comments:
When they start asking questions is when we have given out information. However, we only give them as much as they need. You can be general without giving the full blown story, and if they ask more than give them more.
Good question! I think it's coming up soon. I agree about them finding out the truth from us. I'm hoping I can wait until he's 8.
I just try and answer my kids questions as candidly as they are asked. And if they haven't brought up the subject by the time they are eight we sit down for a little chat. A very relaxed, informal chat.
I had my best friend telling me about sex in 4th grade. It was strange and I would rather have it explained to me by an adult. Anyway so we told our oldest after 3rd grade. I've also read that at age 8 or 9 kids are very open and not as embarrased to have the conversation. We decided to let Dallas have the boy conversations and me to have the ones with the girls. But Nate has asked me some interesting questions without embarrassment that of course I answered. I want him to come ask us and not his friends. Oh yeah I also think it is important for boys to know about girls and their monthly cycles. I was the one to have that conversation with Nate. He was very mature about it so I think we chose the right age for him.
Yikes! I don't want to have to worry about that yet. David had all sorts of questions about how the baby grows, but I'm glad he never asked how the baby got in there in the first place. I always heard that 8 was a good age to have the talk. I've also heard to answer the questions that are asked, but don't give them more than they asked for.
I agree that I'd much rather my kids learn about sex from me and Aaron that from kids at school. Do kids at that age even understand what they are talking about?
Oh gee, for this I am scared!!! Seriously, I am so glad I am passing this chore and privledge off to Jake! haha... ;) I am nervous about this and yes, it is very sad how young we need to talk to them now. It gets younger and younger!!! I remember hearing things from other kids at school when I was only in the 3rd grade. I think 7 is a good age... let me know how it goes and give me some tips please!!!
After "the talk" which I kept pretty casual and light hearted in tone, I make a point of bringing it up every once in a while - like if I hear a news story where there's a good moral to be taught. It's a way to force myself to broach the subject without appearing embarrassed, which I hope means they will be more comfortable talking with me.
Also, it's important to acknowledge where they are - pre-hormones it doesn't sound so beautiful, sacred or even fun.
There is a great book put out by the Church that gives some guidlelines on the subject, like how to answer questions and not blow the kids away. It's a great resource, I'll have to see if I can remember the name of it...something like "a guide to parenting". Rach began asking very specific questions in first grade, but Jord (in 5th) just began asking questions a few months ago. Right before they hit puberty(10 or 11) Joe or I take them out for a special weekend and kind of review things and talk about the changes that will happen in their bodies soon and prepare them for the mood swings that come (it's so much fun). Then when they begin to go thru it it's not as dramatic or scary.
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