me at 30

As my turn to turn thirty was nearing, I read and heard other people's thoughts and feelings about turning the big 3-0. Some were so proud of their lives and all they had accomplished. Some were bummed they were getting older and fatter. One was discouraged that she didn't accomplish her goal of having a completely decorated house and landscaped yard. One thought he'd have a whole lot more money by the time he was thirty. And others were embracing it and looking forward to their thirties because, as one friend put it, "you are still young and sexy, but now mature and wise." I wondered what I would feel when I turned thirty. I've had a month to think about turning thirty because it happened on Nov. 7 and this is what I feel -

well woop-a-dee-doo

I don't feel anything. Not thrilled. Not bummed. Not proud. Not accomplished. Not disouraged. Not sad. Not young and sexy. Not mature and wise. Just the same old. Did I just say "old"? I meant, I feel the same. BUT, I do acknowledge that turning a new decade is a big deal in life. I barely remember the Audra who turned 10. I kind of remember the Audra who turned 20. So, for records sake, I want to give a rundown of the Audra at 30, the good and the bad (but let's face it, I don't want to record ALL the bad). Feel free to move on now if you aren't interested in the details of my life!

Audra at 30

I am Mom to four boys - Kyle and Jordan (8 years old), Tanner (5, almost 6 years old), and Joshua (2 years old). I love them to death, but sometimes they drive me crazy and make me very annoyed. They have given me some of my hardest challenges and they have given me some of my greatest blessings. I am proud to be their mother. They are good boys.

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I'm totally and completely in love with Mike (but sometimes he drives me crazy and makes me very annoyed). But seriously, I admire this man so much. I'm lucky to have him home with me on his days off, but it still seems never enough. I want to be around him all the time. We make a super team in raising our boys and managing this household. I love, love, love Mike.

I am one of two Relief Society Meeting Coordinators in my ward. That calling, or job, invovles planning, advertising, and overseeing monthly activities for all the ladies in my church. The smaller activities may include 4-15 ladies, but four times out of the year, I plan a major activity for 40-70 women. We just had our Christmas activity on Dec. 3 that had about 65 women attend. It was a success and I am thrilled that it is over. That calling has taken so much of my time and has really pooped me out. I wouldn't be sad (to say the least) if I were released and given a new calling. I'm drained.

I'm living in my first home and I am slowly decorating it. Kyle and Jordan's room and Josh's room are the only completely decorated rooms in the house. The living room and kitchen are almost done. The rest is a work in progress and I'm enjoying that work.

I'm reading the Count of Monte Cristo by Alexander Dumas. It'll take a while to get through that one.

My best friends are my sisters. I'm so happy they live so close!

I still need my mom and dad. I call them for advice and counsel on a regular basis and they give me such wonderful guidance that I don't know where I would be without them. They are both so wise.

I love So You Think You Can Dance. That's my favorite show.

My passion is journaling for my boys. I spend so much time creating records of their lives. Each child has his own journal, scrapbook, and folder of pictures. I know it's intense, but I can't not do it. I don't exactly know why I have to do it, but these boys are definitely well documented.

I enjoy photography, but mainly to capture the moments in my family's life. The majority of the time, I take pictures for photo journaling.

A week before my birthday I ran a half marathon and then didn't run for the next three weeks. Generally, though, I exercise three times a week.

I enjoy volunteering at the boy's school, but I only make it about once a month. I love cheering them on with any activity they choose to participate in. The Saturday morning sports games bring me so much joy.

I have come to terms with my body and what I look like. I'm not going to starve myself, exercise for hours every day, or get surgery, so I better accept what I am! For the most part I am content with my body, though every now and then I really wish I were petite. I've never been petite. I've always been big and strong, which is okay, but sometimes.....

I am emotionally high maintanence. Poor Mike. Don't want to go into details.

I still love romance, but I must be getting older because most romances in movies and books now just seem silly or stupid. I am very picky when it comes to romances, but when they get it right, oh, how it makes me happy!

I probably should work harder.

I probably should serve more.

I want to increase my spirituality by doing better at reading my scriptures and saying my prayers every day.

I recently realized my favorite color is green. I am wanting to put green in every room in my house.

Ok, ok, this is plenty of Audra at 30. And after looking at the big picture of my life, I don't feel well-woop-a-dee-doo anymore. I feel grateful for what I have been given. I am very blessed and I am very happy.

Happy that this post is done. It took me a long time.